Category: the Rant Board
What is it with people who always think that just because we can't see that we are also deaf. I mean when someone says that I trip them with my cane on purpose of course I can hear them Also I hate the term blind bitch. People just have a habiit of saying that loud enough so I can hear but so no one else can. Even my best friend can hear it and she looks like she wants to kill something but honestly this has gone on long enough.
Noone's ever called me that but I have had many issues like that, drive-by blessings for instance. Or that time when someone pushes you across the stree that you probably didn't want to cross, because everyone know sthat blind people have no idea where they are going. Or those who ask if you need help, and after hearing you say "No I'm fine, thanks"rahter loudly and clearly proceed to say ÖK... watch that turn'!.. apparently blind people don't really mean what they say.
James
i agree some people dont no how to just move out of the fuckin way
as for deaf and all that, i've have not been called that i would agree with u cryala
Yeah. And what I also hate: I am going somewhere with someone sighted, and suddenly someone asks the sighted person beside me a question about me. I am not deaf and I am not stupid. So why can't these people ask me and not the other person?
amen to that one, I just turn around and say my ears work and so does my mind and my mouth. It's like we have to educate the public as to how we really are. I do a lot of public speaking through our education and awareness programs in order to break down some of the misconceptions and hopefully that will help. But sometimes, I've had just about enough. I mean, if I 'm out with my husband, kids, family or friends, I'm not on the platform of educating soemone that night. I just want to be myself, a mom, friend, wife, sister or just Carla, not that blind chick. Sometimes, enough if just fucking enough.
thanks for letting me blow off some steam, that felt really good.
Carla
two words. battering ram. my cane makes a good one
I was in a restaurant once with someone and the waitress came up and asked the person who was with me, "and what will she have?" In a rather snippy voice, I thought. That little sceen in my blind halucinations story where Kathryn asks the woman with the blind person will have is based on that incident that happened to me. I answered just as snippy that I'd have acheese burger with mayonaise and a medium fry. Another thing that's a bit annoying is when someone just doesn't want to accept it. For instance, I had someone on paltalk ask me if I could put up a picture of myself, and he knew I was blind, because we'd just been talking about it. And once I was in a room, and someone said something about some cap another person was wearing, and I said, well I'm blind so I can't see it. And his response? what do you think of that cap he's wearing? and I said, I'd like to tell you, but being blind means you can't see, so I can't tell you what I think of it. Finally, the room admin put it up in text that I was blind, which in my opinion was the best thing, because it stopped a lot of dumb questions, besides letting people know so they'd know why I didn't speak to them when they came in a room.
wonderwoman
Oh yeah I made my experience with people who wanted a picture of me. I never sent one.
Cryala I've been there so often and each time was worse than the last.However, by getting angry, you are allowing these eejits to have the upper hand...they have succeeded in their infantile game and you have lost..the best thing you can do is use the anger in a postive way, use it to succeed at whatever you want and show thse cretins that you are the opposite of whatever insult they feel is appropriate..such children only do this because they fear going blind you are the personification of their fear and they can only handle their inadequacy by insulting and abusing you...they are lower than mud scraped thinly across the ground...you show em pal...
great advice Goblin
That's true That#s true but you can still post your opinion about these people on here, can'T you? They don'T have to know that you're angry.
They will already know these eejits are infuriating I know we have more than our fair share of bampots here, and at times, I could happily strangle the entire population...
I was at a restaurant last week. and I gotta say. I was amazed. The waitress actually paid attention to me and the boys talking, and picked up on what my name was, and would always ask. "Liam. you want another coke? Liam, need anything else?" It rocked.
good 1 Liam about time eh?...smile
.............
Today I was asked by this charity hawker for a few minutes of my time .She said in this alarmingly high pitched voice "would you like to read my document it tells you all about the work of our charity"..I just shook my head, smiled and removed my black round glasses and said "sure let me have a look".. she failed to notice my abnormal roaming blue eyes and replied "that's great your the 1st to answer me all day"...
Yeah, I hate that too. And I also hate that when I'm with my sister somewhere, they'll stop and look at me and say to my sister, "What happened to her?" And she's like well she was born this way, no explanation. And yes I have been called the so called blind bitch that they think I am. And I say, "Don't call me a bitch cause your mother is one too dick head. And ooh they don't like when you talk about their parents but I just do that to make them think before the word comes out of the mouth.
Oh, this is a bit funny. Ok my doctor knows I'm blind, but she doesn't know that blindness means you can't read print I don't think. I went for my checkup a few weeks ago, and I was iscussing to her about me having trouble controling my cholesterol, and she goes in another room, comes back with this brochure or directions of some sort about lowering cholesterol, and she said "Can you read this?" And lol I couldn't get snappy with her I just laughed a little, thinking she was going through one of her senior moments, and I said "No, can't read it and I don't have a good reader that'll read it, otherwise I'd take it. So she says ok and puts back the paper and says "Ok we'll see how it is when you have your blood work." Lol I just laughed it off.
Well I hate those people who make comments as you walk by like you can't hear them. I was with my parents at a diner, and as my father and I walked by someone said something like He must be blind. I stopped to say something smart, but decided better about it and kept walking. My father asked why I stopped quickly and I told him what I heard and that I was going to turn to the people to say some smart ass comment. He laughed after I told him what I wanted to say.
I didn't see any reason to get angry or hate the person she just wasn't very observant and after spending all day asking people the same question, feck knows how often, I'd be les than quick and desperate for a few pints..smile.
Since I moved to my current location, I've really not encountered any overbearing or ignorant people when I've been travelling, either alone or with my girlfriend who is also blind. However, in my previous location, I remember eating at a little coffee shop and the waitress would not speak to me directly, but speak to the sighted person with me. In fact, the waitress spoke to her in a near whisper I guess so I wouldn't hear what she was saying. Little did she know that I usually don't bring my lightning-bolt-thrower into restaurants, so she had little to worry about as regards my unending wrath. LOL! Seriously, the person with me, although she'd never known any blind folks before me, was furious that the woman did not speak to me directly. I've also run into people who thought whatever sighted friend that was with me was either a family member or some hired caregiver, as if mere friendship between a blind and sighted person just never happens. What caves do these people live in? Of course, the only friend I am allowed is a guide dog, as we're not fit for human companionship except in some cases where we can be randomly thrown together with other blind folks and be the bestest friends just for having some kind of vision loss. What fun, eh? LOL!
Labyrinth it is not a case of them suffering from troglodite syndorme. The majority of the public have no direct contant with a blind/vi person,so how can they be expected to know how to react..has it ever crossed your mind that this woman may have been nervous and uneasy at meeting you for the 1st time..apparently not, if your response, is anything to go by.
I agree. I did not get angry if people did not ask me myself, but someone else. But I think you have to tell them gently that you have a mouth to speak yourself, and ears to hear, and that you are "only" blind.
You know people you could go on and on with different stories of this happening but really, am I the only person on here who understands the reasons for this? What you visually impaired people need to realise and it's about time you did, is that sighted people don't all have a good understanding of us. Some react in different ways. They think we're less able than we actually are. This includes people who work in restaurants surprise surprise and people with a wide range of jobs too. They don't talk to others about you instead of talking to you to be nasty. They do it because they don't have a good understanding of visually impaired people. All the visually impaired people who get worked up about it really do need to get a grip. Stop been so fucking passionate about your disability. You seem to expect everyone to understand you and if they don't you've got a problem with their behaviour. For fucks sake! some sighted people don't have such a great understanding of been visually impaired as you do. That doesn't make them bad people. Yes they may behave in a way which you may interpret as been patronising but if they ask someone about you, answer for that someone else as if you were asked if it's such a big deal but the fact that you care so much that you weren't asked the question is just perfetic. As a blind person, I just intigrate with the rest of society and aim to allow my disability to affect me to the most minimal extent. That's what you should all do instead of acting like there's this big blind community which needs to get a suitable reputation among sighted people. I'm not part of this blind community some speak of. I'll never join it because there's too many blind people in it who are passionate about their disability, care too much about their visual impairment and as a consequence are too ignorent towards the sighted people descrigbed throughout this topic.
Well of course they don'T have a good understanding of us, but they know that I am not deaf, only blind!!!!
Just wanted to post and say that Liam, I wish all waitresses were lke that one you had. That's truly stellar.
Guys, in my case, I understood the poor waitress just didn't know how to act. It was my sighted companion who got all angry. Since I couldn't even hear her speaking I unfortunately didn't have any opportunity to educate her. I think people for the most part are just ignorant and are acting out of impulse or what they see on the movie of the week. However, I wonder if there are a small handful of people who are threatened by the idea that the blind or disabled are capable as they are because they don't want to be taken off the top of the totem pole. Y'know, a place for everyone and everyone in their place. Just a theory, mind you.
Everything is so true that you all said and I'm sorry if I didn't post on here for a while I sort of forgot about this. But seriously the times I have heard the phrase ignore it I could have flipped. What is ignoring going to achieve but then again what is getting angry getting any better. and I haven't heard of a blind community and that we are all pashonit abbout our disability I think we are all just trying to find some place in our own little world here.
well personally for me, whether people are being mean and stupid about my blindness, or whether it's about something else, just ignoring them and acting like it never happened just isn't for me. If I do that, it just builds and builds, and it just rankles. I feel better, and don't dwell on it quite as long, if I answer them back. I generally treat people according to the way they treat me. For instance, when I had one of my glacomba attacks, my mom asked me if I wanted to go to the doctor, and I said, no, let's wait and see if it will go away on its own. I had had those attacks before, and they always went away, but in 4 days, it was still hanging around, and my right eyes was swollen. He asked my mom how long I had had the pain, and when we told him 4 days, he jumped all over her for not bringing me sooner. You don't attack my mom without having me to deal with. He was all overher, and I jumped all over him. I told him I hated and dreaded doctors, and didn't go unless I knew whatever I had wasn't going anywhere, and I had no choice. Then, when he looked into my eyes, he got all irritated and mad, because I couldn't rotate my eyes the way he wanted, and he knew I was blind. You know how they tell you to look up, look down. Well sighted people can, and some blind people must be able to do it, but the only way I know of looking up or down is by turning my head. It felt like I had something in my eye, a pressure on it, and I thought if I could cray, I could relieve some of the pressure, or get it out. The next time I went back to him, I told him I thought maybe I could relieve the pressure by crying. and I said, "so I tried to think of very sad and depressing things, and the saddest thing I could think of was coming back here to you, and that actually brought tears to my eyes." For some reason, he didn't charge her for that visit.
wonderwoman
Well, I'm in a mood to vent, so here goes. I'm sick of people telling me that I can't have a family. I'm tired of hearing that no one will ever love me because I'm blind, and I'd like to go nuts on everyone who says I couldn't have babies, because I'd step on them when they were young and break their necks. I'm sick of people thinking that I must be in all of the stupid classes just because I can't see, and when I had a cane, someone took it from me and through it off of a balcony. I'm just fed up with most things right now, so I appologize.
some people can be really stupid..but i think too that alot of people just dont understand
"and I'd like to go nuts on everyone who says I couldn't have babies, because I'd step on them when they were young and break their necks."
what self respecting parent leaves their babies layingon the floor anyway?
what self respecting parent leaves their babies layingon the floor anyway?
You all are gonna hate me for this, but you all bring a lot of this shit on your self. It's all about how you cary your self. I have self confidence, cary my self with my head held high, and socialize with others. I also act in a fairly intellegent amnnar, and make it a point to go out to aprties and socialize, work out, and generally get out there. This means people never give me shit for being blind, and don't treat me any different unless it's going back from some randum party when you don't know the way to the dorm in which case yes they do make sure I get back, but other then that I'm just another one of the guys.
Actually I think that blindguy makes a valid point. Of course there will always be people out there who will be ignorant of the disabled, but if people act “blind”, then they will be treated as such.
Often people act differently towards a disabled person out of ignorance, and because they can’t see themselves in the same position. Those people who are told they shouldn’t or couldn’t have a family, it is most likely because the people saying it can’t imagine how they themselves would cope with a baby. And if I’m honest, that’s something that people should think about very seriously before they do it, because although it is perfectly possible to have a baby when you can’t see, (I personally have a son who will be three next month), there are things that you do need to think about practically before you do it. I.e. if you can’t breast feed how will you manage measuring out formula? Bearing in mind everything has to be sterilised so you can’t touch the spoon, the water or anything, how will you manage with going out with the baby? Bearing in mind that walking with a stroller and a cane or a dog is practically not possible, are you strong enough to be able to carry a baby in a sling and then a baby carrier until it is approximately 2 years old? Do you want more than one child, and if so, are you prepared for the fact that, practically, you will have to have at least a three year age gap between your kids because you couldn’t be pregnant and carrying another child at the same time, and the eldest child will have to be a bit independent before you have another one? When you have a toddler, are you prepared for the fact you will have to let that child go, free, in a public place, and that you won’t always know what he/she is doing? Those are little things, and are things that are very doable, but they are things that you need to think about before embarking on such a mission. And those are things that sighted people will see as impossible, because they themselves wouldn’t be able to think of the solutions.
Just remember, the more obstructive you are, the more people will think you have a chip on your shoulder over your disability, and the more they will treat you differently.
well said sb and blind guy, I agree 100% if anything I get favors and special treatment for being blind sometimes and it's a good thing, I don't complain, being blind has hardly ever been a drawback when dealing with people. There are a few things you miss out on, the whole billyeard playing or dart throwing at the bars or te soccer play on Wednesdays with the guys or golfing, some visual sports like that but over-all I've never felt that "blind" and never been treated as such. May be for the first few minutes or so when I talk to someone and of course they are curious about a few blind things from time to time but there's nothing wrong with that. I'd be curious too if I met someone from, say, Turkey and I'd ask him/her about the way of life over there and Islam and all that stuff, asking is not the same as offending.
i have been call as "blind girl", i even have been said as "you see, the blind girl". almost all the incident that you all discuss about was happen to me before. the only word i can say is, "don't care". i used to care on how other sighted people see on me, as someone V.I. but well, you can't bother so much on what people said on it. as long as i know what am i doing, and as some of you said, just don't treat yourself as someone blind will do.
I think the thing is, that, as much as I agree with Blindguy (did I say that?!), it isn't fair or nice of people to talk about you as if you aren't there etc. As a sighted person, I've watched my girlfriend walking along with her cane, and yes, people really are that stupid to think that if they stop right in front of you, maybe you won't hit them! Or, that if they time it correctly, they can jump over the cane rather than moving out of the way! It is amusing to watch, although I doubt it is for anyone trying to navigate past them. My advice? Well, if people are that bloody stupid, then smack them one with the cane! It's they're own stupid fault! And if you hear them say something about you, then follow the sound of their voice, and purposely smack them one! Smiling politely and saying 'I'm sorry, I ddin't know you was there', muttering 'moron' under your breath as you pass :). I have to say though, just my opinion, but blindguy does have a really fair point, in what he says. Last year I lived with Hayley and another blind person (Sarah Gray - if any of you have had the misfortune to meet), and they were completely different in how they handled their being blind. Sarah though the world owed her something or she was entitled to be treated in a certain way, whereas Hayley was completely the opposite. Now, I’m not saying that most people have issues with their being blind or anything like that, I’m just giving a valid example of how people might perceive you or something because of past encounters with blind people who expected the world to do them a turn! Cos I know Sarah pissed me off! Maybe that’s just Sarah… and my rant has completely lost me my thread! Apologies to anyone who thinks the sun shines out of her backside, but when the only thing she can think to say to me during the day is ‘have you picked my guide dog’s shit up’ and the only time she wants a conversation is when she’s asking me to do something for her… I’m hardly likely to say anything nice about her! People like that piss me off!
Well I can certinly identify with those feelings of frustration and irritation expressed here. However, I think it is important to remember that 9 times of 10, people behave in those ways because of ignorance, as SB pointed out. I know that I have been in situations with people of a different disability and I was not sure how to react. For example, a bf once worked as a PCA for quadroplegics (persons paralized from shoulders down). When I went to meet some I was unsure if I should reach out to shake their hand because some have more or less ability for limited arm movement. I simply did not know and that is something I try to keep in mind when dealing with situations where sighted people need to be educated in that I am blind only and quite resourceful at finding alternative ways to accomplish tasks.
So when dealing with the sighted public, I think it is of the utmost importance to respond to them with a polite educating manner, therefore conducting yourself with dignity.
The thing canes are most useful for are drunkin sword fighting in the dorm at 3:00 in the morning.
Oh and wb I have played all of those sports including beer pong, doesn't mean your good at it, but it sure is fun.
Yes, John have been rude enough to do so. I'd also like to say that I try to fit in, I'm not in poor me mode, never have been. I'm not an attention seeker, but just needed to vent a bit. I really do try to just be like my peers, but they won't give me much of a chance. I'm sick of it. And this crap about how you carry yourself, I'm not dragging through life. I've got my head up, and I'm the president of our diversity club at school, I don't consider myself different, but that doesn't make others consider me to be normal. I'm not sure if that made sense, but oh well.
I think this whole blending in and conforming bit is but one approach. I honestly am no fan of conformity, and I'm not an outgoing person, yet people here in Seattle don't talk to me like I've got the brains of a wet paper bag or act like I just came off the flying saucer. I get help when I ask for it and am left alone otherwise. So what am I doing right? I think what interests me in this whole subject of dealing with sighted folk is all the crap they believe because they don't know how to act, assume one must act totally different around somebody different, or just want to think they're doing and saying the right thing merely so they don't expose their ignorance. People are so damn insecure, I tell ya. LOL! I can't say I expect the sighted to understand what blindness is like, because unless they're blind, they never will. Hell, I don't understand what it's like to see, but I'm not nervous about talking to sighted people. I guess what I idealistically wish for is for people to stop worrying themselves to death and really use their brains instead of just gut feeling and understand that despite vision loss of one type or another, we're pretty similar to them. We do not have amazing powers, alien physiology, or speak in some sort of secret blind-only language. Crackpot theory to follow in the next post.
OK, it's crackpot theory time. The way I see it, a lot of people are pretty much oblivious to the outside world. They expect to just breeze through life and only come across people who are basically like them. Same culture, same economic background, whatever. Unless they make an effort to observe what's around them or learn about people different from themselves, a lot of peple just don't know how to act around anyone they see as too different from what they expect or are used to. It doesn't help that the idea that being too different is a sign that you are a threat or is just wrong is taught to them in one way or another. This means not only the blind or disabled, who are the most mysterious and unknown, but to people from different countries or cultures or even economic classes if we want to stretch things. I don't have anything written to back this up but it's just what I observe.
Well, here's one for you, I was on the gcn program for a very short time, and a sighted man told me he found the word blind an offense. Well that naturally offended me, but since it wasn't my room, and he was a moderator, I couldn't exactly tell him I thought he was a jerk. I told him, visually impaired may be ok for people who can still see, but have visual problems, but if you can't see at all, you are, blind, and that's the way it is. He said still, they had a rule about not saying anything offensive. I told him, well I guess I won't be coming back here then, and that was just one of my bad experiences on gcn. I think it would be good to have a blind board, even though I know this isn't a sight especially for the blind, but it's possible sighted people may be reading this topic. I wonder how many sighted people read blind related topics? As for fitting in and being liked, if I'm told enough times that this person won't like me if I do this, don't do that, I've come to the conclusion that being liked, or striving to be liked is hard work.
wonderwoman
Well, the dude in the chat room seemed like somebody who didn't really know what he was talking about, but believed what he did believe was the right way and didn't want to hear anything different even though it was the truth. I'll give him credit for having his heart in the right place and wanting to be sensitive and respectful, but he just went about it the wrong way. Sounds like political correctness and hypersensitivity gone horribly wrong.
Now, I have another strategy for being liked. Mind you, it's not about being popular and having hundreds of friends, but it's a helluva lot easier than just putting a lid on all your eccentricities and acting like you care about a bunch of crap you can't be bothered with in the name of blending in. Relax, be yourself, don't be self-conscious or apologize constantly for all your perceived faults, be nice to people (at least those who deserve it) and you should be OK.
thanks Labyrinth, that's pretty much what I do now. I treat those nice who are nice to me, and I don't go out of my way to be mean or disliked, but I think as I get older, I speak off the top of my head even more and more, but that's because if I try to think of the best and most tactful reply, it could take days, or I might never be able to think of something tactful. I prefer to be around sighted people who aren't so constantly on guard, because they think something will break if they talk about being blind. I find people who are overly sensitive about their disability a bit of a strain to be with.
wonderwoman
You all have a good point! I mean I am not to sure what to believe about sighted people but as for me I live my life to the best I can and be done with it. Um how do you play beer pong
OK this topic went from me hating people to asking about beer pong! I just want to say that people in school are actually treating me better! I think that for people to understand I just needed to be me and give them time!
Ok, lets try explaining beer pong. You take a keg cup, for those who don't know what that is it probably holds about 16 ounces. You set up a series of 10 of these at each end of the table, in a triangle shape, and fill them about 1/4 full of beer. So you have two sets of 10 cups one at each end of the table witha bout 4 to 5 ounces of beer in them. You play in teams of two, two people stand at each end of the table. Each person bounces a ping pong ball, and there goal is to get it to land in the cup of the other team, which is the set of cups at the end of the table. If that ball lands in the cup then someone from that other team has to drink it. So lets have Jared and Steve on one team, and Wildebrew and Crystal on another. In the first round Jared bounces his ball and it misses all the cups at the other end. Then Steve bounces his ball, and it makes it into one of the cups at the end where Wildebrew and Crystal are. Wildebrew is the first one to drink, so since a ball made it into one of his cups he drinks all the beer from the cup the ball landed in, about 4 ounces. So now it's wildebrews turn, both wildebrew and Crystal miss there shots. This time Jared makes a shot, but Steve misses his shot. Since Wildebrew drank last Crystal has to drink the next cup. Now on the next turn both Wildebrew and Crystal make there shots, so both Jared and Steve have to drink. This goes on until someone has no cups of beer left, the last team with a cup containing beer wins. As you can guess the longer you play the drunker you get and the harder it becomes. There's really no losers because either way you get to drink. Usually by the time I play were all so tanked no one cares that I'm blind.
I don't get it like I got in my home town. I think it's because where I live now has more of a blind comunity and everyone is aware. I'll even go into restaurants sometimes and they'll ask if I want a braille menue.
Troy
All that needs to be said is we as blind persons must educate those who do not understand blindness.
totally true!! and now I am a college student. this topid has been from my junior year of high school, odd!
do you still feel the same way as you did when you first posted this?
Bob
I never had the "poor me" attitude about my blindness. I just be myself, and let people's comments go in one ear and out the other because to me, there's no point in trying to retaliate. This is just the way that many sighted people react, and it's just something I'll have to deal with.
Don't get me wrong, the "blind bitch" stuff gets to me too.
The fact that people will speak to the person with me sometimes annoys the shit out of me too.
It's all fine and well to say education must happen, but I want to know what the game plan is. Where will this education happen? What are you going to talk about and focus on? How are you going to convince people that it would be worth their while to know about blind folks at all? How are you going to make sure the education sticks? Things like that need to be asked, I think, if you're serious about educating people, else you're just shouting slogans while waiting for the other guy to do the dirty work.
if people are still this ignorant they need to be beaten with much gusto!
No point, it'd probably just hurt and they'd end up being not only just as ignorant, but then they'd also think all blind people are angry and have temper issues. Sometimes ya just can't win. Easier to just write the stupid fucks off as fools and find more interesting things to do. Hahahaha!
perhaps you're right. Lol!